Man's Greatest Creation

I speak of the one and only "Jet Towel." This is the contraption, that adorns my office's men's bathroom, that has become my one true purpose for using the bathroom at the office. Sure, the toilet seats are warmed and have a built in bidet, should one feel so inclined to wash their derrier, but all these features pale in comparison to the marvel of technology that is the "Jet Towel." At first glance you may wonder what it's true purpose is. Is it a pant's press? Where does the coffee come out? Does it bite? All valid questions, yet when viewed from a different angle its ulterior motives are obvious. A handy diagram on top of the device has three pictures that actually light up to guide you through the steps. You put your wet hands in the slot at the top. The high powered winds start when your hands are fully in the opening and continue to blow the water off of your hands as you slowly remove them. This process takes roughly 3 seconds. But for those 3 seconds you are enclosed in a vortex of technology so advanced there are times when I can clearly see the future of man, and it is good. We walk streets of burnished gold lined with "Jet Towels" while the bright sun shines down on our clean, dry hands with an approving glow. Maybe I'm exaggerating. But the fact remains; I love this device. Soon the time will come that I will probably never see my precious "Jet Towel" again. But I'm not thinking about that yet, for now I will stay in it's gale-force windy embrace.